Greatest Black Movies

Saturday, October 30, 2010

5 Secrets to Figure Out Any Movie within Ten Minutes.

5 Secrets to figure out any Movie within ten minutes.

1. Pay attention to everything including setting and what’s said and unsaid. In “Inception”, all the scenes don’t have a clear beginning they just are in a place and you never see them enter or leave. Then he mentions early on that when you are in a dream there is no clear beginning. Then Leo turns to the girl in the cafe and says "how did you get here". I knew that the whole time they were in a dream. Or if someone says, “everything is going to be fine” or “we should have no problem”, then you know the opposite will happen. In the movie “Taken” when his daughter tells him that she is going to Paris with friends and he says it’s not a good idea the writer is foreshadowing.

2. Murphy’s Law applies to every movie: what ever can go wrong will. If in a movie they go on a road trip, everything will go wrong including car trouble and unscheduled stops and car must get severely damaged like in the “Transporter”, “Hang Over”, “College Road Trip” and even “National Lampoons Vacation”. In the “Hang Over” they set it up by putting a random bunch of people together and of course one of them has to be crazy which is Zach Knight Galifiankis’ character. This is standard and you can easily figure out where the problems are gonna be 5 minutes after the movie begins. They do not put anything in the movie that does not mean something. So if the father is protective of the car, then you can bet you movie ticket price plus popcorn that the son will take it and it will be damaged like “Ferris Bueller’s day off.”

3. Horror Movies are the most predictable of all. In most horror movies they have to build it up so they don’t reveal the killer early. They wait and show him much later to build the drama for the big reveals or they try to throw you off from the real killer like in “Scream” or “Devil”. They will throw you off but this is when you have to think like a writer. The killer cannot be the most obvious person so the creepy caretaker is not the killer unless you are watching “Scooby Do” (Zonks!!!!!). “Scream” lays it out for you by explaining you never run up stairs when you should be running out; if you fall, get up quickly; and whatever you do, don’t have sex in the movie because you will be the first to die. And if you are black you will certainly die early in the movie—Samuel L Jackson died within the first five minutes of “Jurassic Park” and was the first to be eaten in “Deep Blue Sea”.

4. Trailers nowadays tell you every thing you need to know. If you pay attention you know the whole movie. “Iron Man”, “Transformers”, “Armored” and several other movies show you everything leaving no need to even see the movie. But if you do decide to see it, you have the whole movie so there are no surprises.

5. Movies are set into categories and are so much alike, if you have seen one of the movies , then you have seen the other. And these movies that are practically remakes, just with some elements taken out copy each other almost to the letter. “Drumline” and “Stomp the Yard” are the exactly same movie; just replace the drums for some boots. “Blood Diamond” and “Avatar”—just replace the unobtanium and blue people with diamonds and Black People/ Africans. The white guy saves the day in both and the poor ignorant savages would have been lost with out the outsiders help. “Dangerous Minds” & “Freedom Writers” are the same just replace Michelle Pfeiffer with Hillary Swank. If you can figure out what kind of movie you have then you are on your way to figure out exactly what will happen next. And a little side note secret- I hate both “Freedom Writers” and “Dangerous Minds” because I’m sick and tired of some white person saving the Ghetto youth.

1 comment:

  1. Movies...

    1. oh yes the "everything is going to be ok" line, that is a classic

    2. I remember Bueller! I guess no movie would be a movie with out Murphy's Law

    3. It's funny that you say the black one always dies first. My friends and I often joke about how you don't want to ever go for a role in a horror film because you won't have any lines! LOL!

    4. The last trailer I saw that was just like that was "Takers". It showed the whole movie and then when I watched it it was like, didn't I see this already?

    5. What a great observation! Blood Diamond and Avatar are the same movie and I to am tired of seeing the stupid black/blue people who can't help themselves!!!!!